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ASOS HAS $20 PREMIUM SHIPPING FOR THE ENTIRE YEAR
I’m a plus size woman. Can you picture it? From ages 13 -19 I legally & physically could only shop at Torrid. Listen, I love and adore Torrid. I thank it for all it provided me in those years but at some point I got sick of finding secret skulls plastered all over my clothing. I was jealous of my friends who got to prance on in to American Eagle and Charlotte Russe and pick up literally anything without even looking at it. Okay, I'm whining and you guys are sick of it! Eventually Forever 21 threw me a bone with their plus size clothing line and even though they’d occasionally throw BAE on a black shirt that could have been a true closet staple without it, for a while it worked out perfectly for me. That was until I turned 25 and realized all my clothes fell apart within 6 months. I could have no part of that. I was 25! I had a desk job. It was embarrassing. I’d walk into work with a visible hole in my right thigh of my pants and my boss would then “randomly” send an email reminding us of the dress code and I would most certainly know it was directed at me so I’d delete the email in a panic then take 2 sick days in a row to recover. Then I was introduced to ASOS.com.
"I’d walk into work with a visible hole in my right thigh of my pants and my boss would then “randomly” send an email reminding us of the dress code and I would most certainly know it was directed at me so I’d delete the email in a panic then take 2 sick days in a row to recover. Then I was introduced to ASOS.com."
I cannot remember how or where but I assume some internet robot blasted an AD at me and I took the bait and hunni I’m glad I did. ASOS is my plus size fashion dream land. Now listen, I am no fashion star. I will be open and honest about this. But just like everyone else I have my likes and dislikes (remember I disliked all those surprise skulls) and I find like after like on ASOS.com. Black Jumpers, Black Jeans, Black button up dresses, a coat that makes me look like I’m running for mayor, size 11 shoes for my freak feet, and peplum after peplum top. Here’s the thing though, ASOS is located in the UK. I can’t run on over to an ASOS and quickly pick up a little black mock neck for a night on the town, or a denim skirt to wear to my siblings’ show (they’re in a band together - I’m not musically inclined). I have to be prepared way in advance and we know this doesn’t actually happen the majority of the time.
Majority of the time I think “Yea I’ll purchase something fun and spicy for that event I have in one month, that’s plenty of time” but then I get distracted binge watching 5 seasons of Love Island (only on Hulu) and the date of that event is four days away and I think I’m stuck wearing yet again my tee-shirt, denim jumper, neck scarf combo that everyone is so tired of seeing. Finally I am getting to my POINT. ASOS has something called “Premier Shipping” where for $20 you can get Two-Day shipping for an entire year. AN ENTIRE YEAR. When I found this offer, I most certainly assumed it was a scam. Two day shipping? From the UNITED KINGDOM? What does the Queen herself have to work at ASOS to get this kinda thing done? (sorry) But it was all true and it was beautiful. I started my ASOS Premier shipping journey and I haven’t looked back. I have to mention this doesn’t include two day returns and famously ASOS is bad at returns but we’re not talking about returns right now and I wish you hadn’t brought that up as I am living my plus size dream!
In two days I’ll have a floor length Stevie Nicks style black wispy dress that I can wear to the 4-90 weddings I have to attend this year and I can twirl and say things like, “I’m loving tonight!”. Then in another two days I can have a fun floral midi dress that gets compliment after compliment at a dinner party and I just smile and say, “Okay wow I wasn’t even sure if I liked this”. Then if you can believe it, in another two days I can have an oversized sweater that makes you question if I’m actually a Gen Z but then you look at my face and think oh no she’s absolutely a Millennial. Then you ask me where I got it and I absolutely freak out because haven’t you been listening? ASOS dot com with my twenty dollars for the entire year premier shipping. Listen, I actually have to go. My friend’s having what she calls an art show in her studio apartment but really she’s just selling the earrings she makes and serving Trader Joe’s frozen snacks. I’ll see you in 2 days in a neon crop top.